Mai~ a lot has happened over these short 23.9 years,
I had this small epiphany about my art the other day. More like a daunting kind of awe with the staples my pseudo art-career-life. My latest entry of the Vampire Hunter D fanart was a bit of a page turn for me. As I was drawing it, it felt like a chapter in my life had just ended and a little part of me died that day. I got this creepy little vibe like when you read up on an old, dead, historically famous artist and look through their masterworks, pieces tend to mark the time-line of their life. I think my inks are what did it for me. Here I am reaching my mid twenties and this is where my skills have brought me thus far. *shudder

Of course, I'm kind of a nut about time... My friends, closest to me, worry about their life day by day while I'm fretting over what I'll be doing by the time I'm forty which feels to me like that's my tomorrow! I guess it comes from a Pablo Picasso quote, "Only put off tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone." yet, being the paranoid, high strung, insomniac that I am with my crapp-health, I'm built for a short life as is. Worrying myself sick because I can't afford to stay up another full forty-eight hours to keep on an illustration, really works against me.

The benefit of this 'getting old-ness' is realizing how dreams come from a disregard of the impossible and can be transformed to an action of reality. I think back to what frame of mind I was in during the "epidemic" of HIGH SCHOOL. I literally felt entitled to having my notebook sketch comics in print and famous one day. Certainly not out of pride of my lack of drawing skills, no I just plain didn't have a clue. Now it's only kind of a reward that I was so confidently naive. It makes me appreciate every step forward I make in the actuality of making those comics, or any kind of art for that matter.

It makes me think of how I spent so long not 'wanting' things out of life, hence avoiding everything I considered bad. When I attempted to pursue the things I figured I'd have an in to I found failure after failure. ...because I was completely reliant on forces beyond my control. I have failed many times on works and projects, hell, even some aspects of life. I don't need to whine about them though... The point is, I truly believe for every calamity in life there is always a blessing in disguise. I would never have realized this without my many trials and tribulations.

Finally I think I found something I truly want. I don't have any words to express it really, when people ask me I just tell them... "my dream? I want to be the Freddy Mercury of my craft." ...I think only true 'Queen' fans get that though.

oh god I'm getting old! haha! I'm usually not so "deep" no, I'll go back to cussing and eccentric, silly antics soon enough.


EVENTS
Art Show at club inferno May 27th
Black Riders Birthday Adventure Booze Cruise May 30th

LINKS
The Art of Ashley Witter
Tarts4Life(coming soon)
Tegakie

WEBCOMICS
Scorch
Reign of Adeodatus
No Shutup